Separate but equal...or is it?

No, I'm not talking about the gay marriage issue! I'll cover that later. I actually wanted to shed some light on an article that was posted yesterday.

Lesbian High School Student Bullied out of School - Women's Rights

It's awful to see that this kind of thing is still happening nowadays. It reminds me of the plight of Constance McMillen, who was barred from attending her senior prom because she wanted to dress in a tuxedo and bring her girlfriend. Of course, the school district canceled their prom after word got out. However, I am happy to report that an article was posted on the matter today and that Constance and her family will be receiving monetary apology from the district.

However, what shocked me in both of these cases is the notion that "separate but equal" institutions are better than fixing the already-flawed ways of the current establishments. What I mean to say - is it all right that Constance had to go to a different school to finish out her term because of what happened?

And is it right that it has been suggested in the comments of the aforementioned article that:

I wish there could be a Harvey Milk School like there is in NYC for gay lesbian and transgender students where they could reach their full potential like any other child in the local school system.

(For those that aren't aware of what the Harvey Milk School is, please follow this link.)

Is this acceptable? Should separate school systems be created for LGBT youth?

The answer is unequivocally "no."

The Harvey Milk High School is a wonderful thing, a place of acceptance. However, instead of trying to create more places like it separately, apart from the norm, we should be trying to create environments like this within what has already been established. Doing this will ensure that LGBT youth like Constance and Cassandra can have a happy life with their peers instead of apart from them.

After all, their peers are the ones who will make up the society that they will live in for the rest of their lives. If the problem is avoided instead of being fixed, what kind of answer is that?  None.

To create change, we must be the change we want to see.

Stay beautiful!

VioletDove

What does it mean to be...

I'm sure that most people have seen the LGBTQQIA acronym before. After all, it's commonplace in today's society! But what do each of those letters mean?

Here's the breakdown! :)

L - Lesbian
Lesbians are women who identify as purely homosexual. In other words, they are strictly attracted to women, their own sex.

G - Gay
"Gay" is a word that can also be used for homosexuals in general, but in the acronym it serves to represent men who are strictly attracted to other men.

B - Bisexual
Bisexuals are those men and women that are not strictly attracted to one gender, but rather have the capability to be attracted to both!

T - Transgender
Transgender individuals are those whose gender and physical sex do not match up. Note: Transgender men and women's sexualities are SEPARATE from their transgender identities! For instance, a FTM (female-to-male) transgender individual does not necessarily have to like women, same as not all natural men like women! Some transgender individuals choose to undergo hormone treatments and surgeries to change their sex, but not all! Those that have gone through these surgeries are called transexuals.

Q - Queer
Queer individuals are those that reject heteronormativity (otherwise called compulsory heterosexuality). This category includes pansexuals, pomosexuals, and genderqueer people, as well as others. Some heterosexual people may even fit into this category, such as those who practice BDSM.

Q - Questioning
Almost all members of the LGBT community have been here at some point! Questioning individuals are those that are pondering their sexual orientation. Perhaps they've begun to notice some affections toward members of their own gender or perhaps are noticing that they don't quite feel comfortable with their gender.

I - Intersex
There are two categories of intersex people: those that physically have genitalia of both sexes and those that do not identify as either male or female. The second category of intersex individuals can also be called androgynes. Some say that this category fits under the Queer umbrella.

A - Asexual
Asexual individuals are those that have no desire to engage in sexual intercourse. This doesn't mean that asexuals are incapable of love, however! After all, sex and love are two very different things. Many asexuals still identify as romantics, whether they are heteroromantic, homoromantic, transromantic, or otherwise. There are some asexuals that are aromantic, too, however. Some say this category - like Intersex - also fits under the Queer umbrella.

These are just broad overviews and definitions, but they are important to understand! Not every person fits under these umbrella terms, and some even resist the labels.

Sexualities are very individual things. It's important to accept each person as they are, and not just as a label!

VioletDove

The Idea of SELF

What is more important than loving yourself for who you are?

Nothing. :)

If we can't start with loving ourselves, it's very hard for others to accept us. The first step is to accept yourself!

So maybe you're questioning who you are in dealing with your sexuality.

Take a second and think.

Are you questioning yourself in order to further explore your inner workings? If you are, that's fantastically positive! The questions that should come to mind are along the lines of "So, am I attracted to X/Y?" Gentle questions, ones that are aimed neutrally toward your inner self and ones that require self-exploration.

Or, are you questioning yourself in a way that hints at denial?

Let's say that the first question that occurs to you is "There's no way I can be attracted to X, right?"

Hoooold up right there, because you're stopping yourself before you even get started! In fact, you could go so far as to say that you're moving backward!

That question right there is very loaded. Instead of asking yourself in a neutral way, you're connoting that your feelings are impossible or wrong. If it turns out that your feelings are true, you're denying a vital part of yourself - even before you can answer your own question!

Stop! Rephrase! Try again!

Ask a wondering question instead of a probing one. Most people don't like it when they're asked probing questions - so why would your inner psyche like that? :)

Be comfortable in your skin; you're the one thing you can completely claim as your own! However you end up answering your question, embrace yourself. You are beautiful, inside and out!

VioletDove

In Memoriam

Yes, VioDove concentrates mostly on women. However, today is another important day for the LGBTQ community as a whole, October 20th. Spirit Day.

In case you haven't heard, today is a day of coming together for the LGBT community and their allies. Recently, there have been six young men (that we know of) that have ended their lives on account of intolerant bullying and much of the like. Today has been named Spirit Day in memory of those six young men and so many others like them that have been victimized. Today is a day to take a step in the direction of universal tolerance.

Did you wear purple to support the cause?

Even doing something as small as wearing a color to support others can speak volumes. A picture is worth a thousand words---but what about a crowd of people displaying their violet-hued pride? Their desire to end senseless, heartless acts of violence like the ones committed against Tyler Clementi?

October just seems to be a month of pride for the LGBT community. Embrace it. :) And embrace you.

Rest in peace, Tyler Clementi, Zach Harrington, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase, Billy Lucas and Cody J. Barker. You will not be forgotten.

VioletDove

Relevant Websites:
GLAAD: Spirit Day
Helium: Why Wearing Purple on October 20th Will Help to End Hate Crimes
ABC News' Tyler Clementi Article

Good evening!

First post!  Wow!  This was a long time coming.

All right.  Welcome to Project Violet Dove, ladies and gents!  Mostly ladies, since this project will be focusing on the female population of the LGBTQQI community!

This website will be meant as a resource for young adults struggling with their sexual orientations.  It is meant to inform and to offer guidance whenever possible, from a community of people who are dealing with the same things.  I will also be posting relevant articles from everyday life whenever possible.  Rest assured that I will be on top of my job!

As for earlier this week, October eleventh happened to be National Coming Out Day.  I had meant to open the blog on that momentous occasion, but life got hectic.  So here we are!

I would like to share something of my own, perhaps to make this a little more relatable for you all.  Believe me when I say I know where you're coming from.

We're all born different, at least that's what I believe. We're not born to grow up in a certain manner, per se, but there are certain qualities about us that are with us from birth. I'm a firm believer that sexuality is one of them.

Today is a day when we celebrate differences: differences that are okay. Differences that are normal. So, you like girls...but you are a girl. Fantastic! That's just fine. Or maybe you're a boy who happens to like other boys? That's fine too! Or maybe, just maybe, your physical sex doesn't dictate your gender.

Whatever the case, whether you're straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or otherwise, you deserve to feel accepted. Your life should be just as celebrated as anyone else's, and today is your day to shine.

I, myself, am a pansexual woman. I identified this from an early age when I noticed that...gender didn't matter one iota to me. Just because someone was male or female didn't mean that I couldn't love them. People individually are not simply "male" or "female," not to me, anyhow. Gender stereotypes are socially constructed (truly), and physical sex dictates very little. I'm willing to overcome any obstacle for the person I fall in love with.

I say this with pride now, but I was scared for a very long time. Only just this past year have I found the courage to open up that part of myself to my friends and family and - thankfully - they have accepted me. I know that others are not so lucky, but it's important to start on a micro level. Internally. Give yourself permission to accept who you are. Everything else after that will be easier.

I am out now to the people that matter to me. All of my friends and family know. However, I do not wear my sexuality on my sleeve; to me, that's just one facet of who I am. And you know what? It's not a big deal. It's about as important as someone walking up to me and telling me they're heterosexual. Awesome! But that doesn't dictate your entire being, does it?

To those of you who are waiting to out yourselves, take your time - but don't delay so long that you lose your purpose. Live your life the way /you/ want to live it. Find courage in yourself and hold onto it. It's there; I know it is.

Let your love be the one thing that shines through. It lights even the most intense darkness.

No one should ever be afraid to love.

 - from my public deviantART page; October 11th

So, just when you're left feeling alone, believe me when I say that there /are/ others out there who understand.  And we want to help.

VioletDove